Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Most accurate depiction of future human civilization


In science fiction movies we often see cool depictions of the near future. In many cases, such as Blade Runner (pictured here below), the timeline's are unbelievably optimistic. In 1982 (when the film was made) did they really think we'd be so advanced by 2019?



Whether it be 2019, 2050, or some greater time period - we often see amazing space-age devices and an ultra-cool, chic Earth (at least for the rich guys - there's always an underclass). Minority Report, Gattaca or i-Robot immediately come to mind - three movies I like a lot.


Of course, there are some great post-apocalyptic type movies: Water World (just kidding), 12 Monkeys, Mad Max, etc.
  
However, I think I might have found a movie that is a better depiction of our future as humans on Earth than any other. So accurate, in fact, that it scares the pants off me. But before I tell you what it is, I want to tell you how I found out about it.

HUMANITY 500 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE

One morning I was having coffee with the guys at work and told them about my long-held theory about how people are getting dumber, and not smarter. I was reminded of it because there was a news bulletin about a family in the United States (I'd search it out but I'm currently sitting in an airport lounge and don't want to use the free wifi due to a virus I caught in Malaysia - but that's another story …). Anyway, this couple had just had their 19th child.

Now before I go on, I would like to state that in no way am I suggesting that this couple are Hillbilly's or anything else disparaging like that (maybe they are, maybe they aren't - you can search for it and make your own conclusions I suppose). I'm just saying, if you were to ask the average person on the street, I'm sure there is a fairly negative perception associated with a man named Jim Bob who has 19 children.

So ... I was telling my workmates my, admittedly, offensive, and not well-researched 'Trailer Trash Theory". You know, heaps of kids, even more television, not much education ...

... And how humanity was getting dumber.

Hmmm … don't you hate it when your idea has already been thought of - and made into a movie. And that movie explained my theory better than I ever could have.

The movie … no, really it should be called a documentary, is called ...

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Worst movie trilogies

Watching Transformers 3 last night - all I could think of was - "when is this movie going to be over."

The (not so) funny thing was - I had the exact same experience with the first two movies. Even less funny is, let's say that each movie was about two and half hours long, well that's seven and a half hours of my life I won't get back. That's like going to work, except I don't get paid.

Thank you, Michael Bay. Thank you for taking one of my favourite 80's cartoons and making it into the horrible mess that it is ... THREE TIMES.

Stupid me for getting suckered in three times! In my defence, apparently after the panning the second one got, people were actually saying the third instalment was quite good. Well, maybe the reviewers were given frontal lobotomies - because I didn't see an improvement.